Blog Tour: Guest Post from Kelly Oram + Giveaway!

Today I have the wonderful Kelly Oram on the blog with a guest post from the main character, Ellie Westley, of her newest book, Serial Hottie.

Ellie’s sweet sixteen is a summer of firsts. First car. First kiss. First boyfriend. First serial-killing stalker?

Hockey-obsessed tomboy Eleanor Westley has never been the object of a guy’s affection before. So when the hottest boy she’s ever seen moves in across the street and starts treating her like she’s the center of his universe, naturally she’s going to be a little skeptical. But everything starts to make sense when girls who look just like Ellie start dying all around the city. Obviously the new guy is the killer, and of course he only likes her because he wants to slice her into tiny pieces. Right?

The more Ellie gets to know Seth the more she’s convinced he’s a psychopathic killer. The problem is he’s the sweetest psychopathic killer she’s ever met. Not to mention he’s brutally hot. No matter how hard she tries, she can’t help but fall for him. Will Ellie find true love, or will her summer of firsts turn out to be a summer of lasts?

Happy Independence Day all you US citizens, and Happy Birthday Ellie! In honor of Ellie’s sweet 16, I’m going to share with you an essay Ellie wrote when she got detention for using inappropriate language in her English class last year. The assignment was to write a standard 5oo word five paragraph persuasive essay on a topic she felt strongly about. She got points for creativity. She didn’t get out of detention early.

I Have The Lamest Birthday Ever
An essay by Ellie Westley

There are a million, bazillion, gagillion reasons why it sucks to be born on the 4th of July. I know because I’ve been suffering from such a lame birthday for sixteen years now. Sixteen long years of craptastic birthdays. I could write a novel on this subject, however, since this essay is only supposed to be 500 words, I’ll only give you the top three reasons why July fourth is the lamest birthday ever.

The first reason why my birthday sucks is the obvious: it’s in the middle of the summer. This blows because your friends are never around. Not that I’d ever want to be one of those pathetic suckers that have to carry a giant heap of balloons around school all day, but when all of your friends are off on cool vacations or at hockey camp, you’re forced to celebrate your birthdays with people like your parents and older sister. LAME. Also, because it’s a holiday, it’s the same thing every year—dinner and fireworks. Yippee.

The next bit of proof—and much more horrific than the first—that being born on Independence Day sucks, is that in honor of our blessed nation’s birthday you get named after prominent US patriots or leaders. I was named after the 34th First Lady of the United States, Eleanor Roosevelt. While I am grateful my parents weren’t cruel enough to name me George Washington Westley, and being named after Betsy Ross would have sucked harder, Eleanor is still a complete grandma name. Not cool. Plus, my friends all know who I was named after and like to call me Eleanor Roosevelt because it pisses me off. For this reason, I learned how to throw a proper punch by the time I was six.

The last—and by far the worst—reason my birthday is stupid, is that for some reason people think that because it’s the Fourth of July it’s cool to use sparklers in place of candles on your birthday cake. This is so not true. Aside from the fact that they leave behind a funky taste on the frosting—which is my favorite part of the cake—you cannot blow them out. Ever. If you don’t blow out all the candles, your wish doesn’t come true. That’s the rule. Do you realize what this means? It means that for as long as I can remember I’ve been gypped out of my birthday wishes! I so call BS on that crap! I’d better get some freaking real candles this year—sixteen of them—or I’m going postal on the world. I need my freaking wishes!

As you can see, my lack of birthday wishes, total grandma name, and absentee friends are all proof of how much my birthday sucks. Therefore it is only logical that I come to this one simple conclusion: I have the lamest birthday ever.

Now for the giveaway!  

Kelly Oram has offered one lucky winner a super cute 4th of July prize pack.

The giveaway is open to US residents only and will end on July 18.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

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51 comments

  1. My favorite part of the 4th besides the great food are the fireworks. I grew up right outside of D.C. and the firework shows downtown were awesome and something I looked forward to all year.

  2. My favorite part of Fourth of July is the fireworks of course!

    Thanks for hosting an awesome giveaway! Sounds like a great read 🙂

  3. HAHA! That essay. I was actually just telling my grandma today how much it would suck to have your birthday on the Fourth of July. And my favorite part would be the food.

  4. My favorite part of the 4th is using Sparklers to try and spell out words in the air really fast. It’s a tradition b/w my sister and me guess the other person’s word. I love it!

  5. My favorite part is the fireworks, the food and spending time with my family. Thanks for the chance to win!

  6. The patriotic aspect of the holidayis my favorite – Americans really come together with the red, white and blue decorations, food and flags.
    Liene @ LLucane at yahoo dot com

  7. My favorite part is having a day where everybody is off and can finally spend time together. Since my dogs are terrified of Fireworks and Thunderstorms, and it almost ALWAYS rains on 4th of July here, we always end up hiding out at home hanging out and keeping them calm.

  8. My favorite part is the food! I no longer like fireworks because my poor little dog is deathly afraid and I hate to see her trembling in fear. 🙁

  9. Haha. That was brilliant. Eleanor Roosevelt? Nice.
    My favorite part is probably getting to obnoxiously dress up in patriotic colors, and no one can bother me about clashing red and blue. 😛

  10. I love the sense of camaraderie everyone in the country has. With our differences of ethnicity, politics, and the like it’s nice to all be able to celebrate one thing: our freedom!

  11. I am actually not the largest fan of WATCHING fireworks, but my family kind of has a tradition where we buy a butt ton of fireworks and light em off ourselves. Though that hasn’t occurred in a few years, it is still my favorite of 4th of July.

  12. I love Ellie’s essay! I agree, a birthday on the Fourth sucks! Kinda like having a birthday on Christmas in a way.

    And your friends aren’t there:)

    My favorite part of the Fourth is hanging with friends and the fireworks:)

    Thanks so much:)

  13. My favorite part of the 4th of July is the great food and fireworks, but if my birthday was on the 4th that would be lame. I love the part in the essay about sparkler candles and her namesake. Thanks for the giveaway! 😀

  14. My favorite part of the 4th of July is definitely the fireworks. They don’t happen often in my area and the best view is from the water, so I always find myself out on a boat to watch them. How could you hate the fourth of July?! lol

  15. I love the family getting together talk about everything and nothing and the kids with sparklers in there hands just having a blast 🙂

  16. Hmm, I would have to say after all the noise and fireworks are done, i get to walk in the dark with a flashlight and pick up the used fireworks. Sounds weird but considering I can’t handle a firework or lighter for the life of me, this is how I handle the fireworks.

  17. The fireworks!! Though we’ve been under a fire restriction for the last couple of years. But I have been able to watch some organized displays so that was kind of fun. Plus I didn’t burn myself trying to light them.

  18. I love her voice!!

    She’s such an endearing character, and I love her attitude. Just this essay won me over – thanks for spotlighting a wonderful author and book 🙂