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| Green-eyed monster! |
Recently I read one of the most honest posts over at Book Brats. It really got me thinking and I wanted to share my thoughts and personal experiences.
Jealousy is something I’ve always struggled with. I’m not talking just with blogging, I mean in real life. I’ve always wanted what other people have whether it be my brother, my friends, or some complete stranger. I know I have a wonderful life and really there is nothing that I need that I don’t have. My parents spoiled me rotten and yet I was one of those kids that always wanted more. It wasn’t always something tangible, sometimes I was jealous of an idea someone had or other crazy things like that. Maybe joining the blogosphere wasn’t the best decision for me but at the time I didn’t know it would only add to my jealousy.
When I started my blog, jealousy wasn’t really a problem. I didn’t know about free books, ARCs, traffic, comments, and all that. All I knew was that people took the time to share their thoughts on the books they read and that I wanted to do that too. And that was enough for me. It was fun just to get my thoughts out there and if someone happened to read and comment on my review, that was fun too. Blogging was just something I did to pass the time and entertain myself.
Nowadays, everything is a competition. Sometimes literally. As if it’s not bad enough that we already compete with each other for books/followers/traffic/comments, etc. now we actually have awards where people can convince their multitude of followers that they’re the best and they should win the award. Really? Does anyone actually think it’s a good idea to have awards like this in an already super competitive blogosphere?
Personally, it’s not the ARCs/books that I struggle with jealousy over. I will never lack for reading material. I know that. It’s the other stuff that gets to me; the awards, the followers, the traffic, the memes. I wish I was creative enough to come up with some awesome meme that tons of people would participate in. I wish I won awards for my blog. Heck, I just wish I was nominated for awards. I want to be a “big blogger,” one of those bloggers that just automatically is associated with all things YA and all things awesome in the blogosphere. However, trying to actually achieve that goal hasn’t been easy and when I see other blogs that started way after me achieve that, heck yes I get jealous.
What I’m trying to say with this post is that it’s okay to get jealous. It happens to the best of us. Admit it, get over it, and heck, maybe even use it as motivation. Just don’t let it run your life or your blog.
How do you guys feel about book blogger jealousy? Does it happen to you? If so, how do you combat it?
I really appreciate how honest you are in this post.I think every blogger feels jealousy to some degree. I know I do! But I try to remember that the big bloggers didn’t get popular on just luck. They worked their butt off to get where they are! So I try to use the bits of jealousy I feel as motivation to improve my blog.
This is so true. I often get jealous and then realize that I shouldn’t be. We all feel it. I use my jealousy to motivate me and try to work harder if I really want something for next time. I feel that jealously is normal and we all handle it differently. Jealously is nothing to feel ashamed about.
Grace
I love how honest you are here, Katie. I’ve seen this topic in a few places, and it makes me feel less like a douchebag for being envious, which I am. A lot. But when I see the work so many of you put in, and comepare it with my own, I know I dont, so I try to do better, and if I cant (at that moment), then I try to reason with myself, and just do the best that I can. I think that’s what we’re all doing, and if you really put your all into it, it shows. Not always, yes, but most times.
Nice job with the honesty there hon(: I totally agree with you on everything said there. Especially the followers and traffic. Sometimes it seems that if I don’t comment, propel don’t come and then I see all these other blogs who don’t comment with over 100 comments…it’s frustrating. Then I have to realize that that’s not what book blogging is about. It’s hard and time consuming but for me at least, all worth it.
Jackie
*people
Honestly – this is not a problem for me, and will never be. From my experience, being wrapped up in blogging & the internet is like being sucked in a black hole and can warp our perceptions a bit. Being a “big book blogger” – no one except 0.000000001% of the population will care. A blog award … it’s not going to bring you fame and fortune. Even being a “problogger” – well, being your own boss means things like paying quarterly taxes and paying for your own health insurance, which I can tell you is going to run you a LOT of money monthly.
I’m not saying that I don’t want to increase my readership etc., because who doesn’t. So I set some ridiculously easy to attain goals each month, and then pat myself on the back when I get it. I laugh at myself for doing it sometimes, but hey, it keeps the jealousy monsters away and makes me feel good.
Tanya Patrice
Girlxoxo.com
I definitely struggle with this. I see all this people getting hundreds of page views every day and I get excited if I break 100. I have contacts that I can get ARCs from publishers if I want them. That is not the issue for me at all. But the followers, the people reading what I have to say, the comments. That gets to me.
Lisa @Just Another Rabid Reader
Yes, I think I’ve mentioned this in bits and pieces on my blog before.It’s the blog followers that make me the most jealous. I want to be a “big blogger” you know.Someone whose name and blog is recognizable immediately. That can’t happen if my total number of followers isn’t even 70.
Alexia @ Adventures in Reading
I try not to let this happen when it cos to blogging. I suffer enough with jealously when it comes to my professional and financial life. But you’re right. It DOES happen. When it does, I just pick up a good book and begin reading. Usually that solves the problem for me. I know it always isn’t that easy, though.
I never knew how competitive it was until I got freally into it. Ignorance really was bliss. I do get a bit irritated sometimes. It’s like, if you don’t read tons of crappy YA paranormal stuff or mommy new adult porn you won’t get attention. There seems to be very few adults who read “adult” books and literature that take thought and intellenge to write. I know its irrational so I Just say “fuck it”. Forget about ARC’s and followers. I’m going to read/write about what I want and if that doesn’t = popularity then screw it. At least I’ll be happy…..Rant over. Sorry haha!
It does happen o every oen of us at a moment or another…mostly with teh booksih haul i think but yes better to do what you love then the rest will follow
But you are a big blogger – you have a lot of followers! About ARCs – you should try live in Europe and watch all these USA bloggers get all amazing ARCs..because here in Europe we don’t get them at all, not the physical books anyway. And all those great authors signing their books, book festivals..we have none of those 🙁 that’s what I’m most jealous of in blogging community. BUT my wish is to go to USA to some big book festival, where I’d buy all these books at great prices (here are books more expensive), meet all those great authors I dream about..
It happens to all of us to be jealous, but you need to appreciate what you have!
I don’t think I’ve been jealous of other bloggers, but I’ve been frustrated at times thinking what was I doing wrong? Why if I come up with a meme no one wants to participate? Why people just stop by but don’t comment?
Now instead of working up in building my frustration I use that energy to work on my blog, to ignore those negative voices and work on making my blogger a comfortable place for myself and other book lovers 🙂
I have been (& sometimes still are) jealous of bloggers who get ARCs on a daily basis and have the opportunity to go to large conventions. I mean who wouldn’t love a book convention? I am fortunate enough to meet Elizabeth Eulberg when she’s in town & I know not many people get opportunities like that. I still work hard on my blog & idolize/respect veteran bloggers and just because I don’t get many ARCs doesn’t mean I’m going to stop book blogging. (:
Yes to all of this! Book blogger jealousy is a terrible thing, and although it seems you are doing a good job with not letting it control you, I completely understand why you struggle with it because I do too. I’m fine with not getting a bunch of ARCs or having thousands of followers, but comments are the thing that really gets me. I’ve been blogging for over a year, so when I get two comments on a review only to turn around and see that someone whose site is three months ond has ten, I get envious.
More than that, though, I get jealous of other peoples’ blogging brains. I would kill for the creativity of Jamie from The Perpetual Page-Turner, and I always marvel at the people who just sit down to “catch up on reviews” and have 3 of them 45 minutes later. I spend hours on mine, so being able to write that quickly is sometimes appealing.
As for blog awards, you make a great point. I have nominated people and voted in them, but I am always annoyed by the number of “vote for me” tweets that result. A couple are fine, but when they swarm my timeline, I just remember how competitive we are and that makes me sad.
This is such an honest post, and we can all relate to it no matter how much we don’t want to admit it. But I’ve found the best way to deal with jealousy is to first view all the awesome bloggers as inspiration rather than competition and then pour your residual competitive spirit into your own posts, focusing in creating the best content you can. If everyone did this, the blogosphere would be a much happier place. 🙂
I would be lying if I said I don’t get jealous! The thing is I just try not to dwell too much on it. I let myself get envious for a while but then shrug it off. Jealousy is such a natural emotion and it’s nothing to be ashamed of! But it certainly isn’t healthy to be feeling for a long time.
I get super jealous but I’ve been working to conquer that-to keep reading what I find interesting and to focus on just being the best I can be.
This is a great post!
I have plenty of reading material, so I try not to get too jealous at some of the posts I see with arcs. Between the few contacts I have and volunteering at a local indie, I don’t do bad.
I would love to have mega followers and such, but I’ve found that I’m getting there slowly. I need to focus on the content and “voice” that I want to have for my blog and hope that people will stick around for the something different that I’m posting.
Thanks for sharing this!! I consider you a Big Blogger so it’s nice to see you’re having the same thoughts!
Very eloquently honest, Katie! Jealousy definitely does happen (especially with blogs that get bigger faster than you do, I experience that sometimes). Until you admit it, you can’t really let it go. I try to focus on my own accomplishments (proud of a feature, a nice comment, a cool author I got to interview) instead of comparing. Sometimes it’s hard, but ultimately book blogging isn’t a competition, but a community.
Sara at The Page Sage
Yep, I get jealous too. When I start to feel green I have to really remind myself about the reasons I started and honestly what my goals are. I’m with you about the traffic jealousy. I think that’s what hits me the most. And funniest part is–I don’t even know other people’s #’s. My brain just makes them up and man are they better than mine. haha. I do get envious when people get a book I REALLY want but then I remember…books are for sale! I will be able to buy and read it just not RIGHT now. Great post and I love your honesty. And FYI, you are a big blogger to us small blogs 🙂
My Friends Are Fiction
Yup right there with you. I get jealous too, but mine comes out of seeing people get the really fun book reveals etc. A few years back there was one for Pretty Little Liars with phones etc. Super jealous there. But lately I haven’t felt it too much. I’ve slowed down my blogging and that seems to help!
I’m jealous of your honesty and eloquence in writing this fabulous post right now. But as everyone else said, the trick is to not dwell on it because jealously doesn’t get you anywhere. Just appreciate the other persons talent and move on.
I agree about the competitiveness you mentioned, unless your a competitive person and you enjoy that one should just slow down and have fun. After all, blogging is a hobby and it should be fun. 🙂
Great post! I can totally relate to what you’ve written. I get jealous quite often, not just about blogging. I just started blogging, looking at other blogs I feel quite jealous to see hundreds of coments,followers. The best way to get rid of jealousy is to not let it get to you. Jealousy is one cruel thing, though sometimes it gets us motivated like you mentioned, but it can also make you do things you regret.
Comments*
This is a fantastic post and I completely understand what you mean! Now you’ve got me thinking about it, competitions are sometimes not the best thing but, I feel the Blogosphere handles them. On the subject of traffic, I started my blog and it took over a year and a half to reach 100 followers. This was crushing when I kept seeing people with more than that in just a few months. That’s when a few pieces of jealousy seep in!
I wouldn’t give a second thought to all of that. Most of the blogger awards are just something that someone thought up and the majority of bloggers won’t even accept awards anymore. You have to remember that blogging is a lot of work and success doesnt’ happen over night. Just blog for you and don’t worry about the rest. It takes a lot of effort to be on top and we all know what happened to the Story Siren and the pressure she felt.
My blog is really just my way of keeping a diary. My thoughts on what I am reading, how my beginner piano lessons are going, what books I’m looking forward to, what book conventions and concers I’ve atended, etc. Most of my followers are friends, family, authors/other bloggers I regularly talk to. If people stop by and read my posts…great!! If someone leaves a comment…AWESOME.. I always try to reply or leave a comment on their blog to show my appreciation. At the end of the day, the number of visits or how many followers I have is meaningless. I simply want to have fun with my blog. No pressure. Just a place to post what interests me. Hopefully I will meet others with some of the same interests, but if not…that’s okay too.
Wow I’m totally shocked by this post. I would never think that you suffer from blogger jealousy! You’re always getting fab books, you’re in the top 20 on bloglovin for top book/music blogs and you totally ARE one of the blogs automatically associated with YA!!!! It’s nice to know that even the big guys have insecurities, but I would love for my blog to have the success yours does!
This is a really honest post. Thank you for voicing a feeling loads of us battle with. It’s so human, to be jealous, but then we all feel guilty and silly. It’s too bad blogging isn’t just a wonderful activity, that there’s so much competition in it.